Comments on: Nine NO’s of Dialogue

By: Developing Themes In Your Stories: Part 4 – Dialogue - DIY MFA : DIY MFA

Developing Themes In Your Stories: Part 4 – Dialogue - DIY MFA : DIY MFA — Mon, 10 Aug 2015 13:00:52 +0000

[…] the story premise, and external conflict, which are all important building blocks for stories. Dialogue, however, is more of an interior design element. It adds color and life to a story and aids in the […]

By: Carnival of Creativity November 4, 2012 - The Writing Reader

Carnival of Creativity November 4, 2012 - The Writing Reader — Sun, 20 Apr 2014 21:53:28 +0000

[…] Pereira presents Nine Nos of Dialogue posted at DIY […]

By: Ken Farmer

Ken Farmer — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 16:52:16 +0000

Looks like we’re talking from the same house, Gabriela. Just entered from different doors. I tend to look at writing like a character since I have 40 years under my belt as a professional actor/writer/director and acting coach. It’s like I tell my acting students: Know your story, create your character, lend the character your equipment (mind, body and voice), then get the hell out of the way and let the character tell the story. Let your instincts take over. I approach my novel writing the same way. I let the story write itself. Don’t do outlines. Don’t have a clue how it’s going to turn out. Let the characters figure it out.
I tend to eliminate nouns in dialogue. One might write: “I’m going to town, do you need anything?”
The actor in me writes: “Going to town, need anything?”
In another recent novel “Return of the Starfighter”, I wrote:
“Once we are south of the DMZ, we’ll begin a descent to pick up the tanker. I didn’t want our contrails to give us away.”
“Good thinking. I’m allergic to visually guided SAMs…Give me a rash.”
But, like I said, that’s the actor in me. That’s how that particular character talks.

By: Gabriela

Gabriela — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 17:16:55 +0000

Excellent points, Ken. For the on-the-nose dialogue, I think I may not have described it clearly enough in the post, but I think you and I are talking about the same thing. On-the-nose dialogue is when characters are saying exactly what they think. Like you said, the point is to make the reader work just hard enough to get to the heart of the information and if the dialogue is too on-the-nose it prevents that from happening.

Your point about zits is a very good one. As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, these aren’t the Nine Nevers of dialogue, just Nine No’s. They’re red flags… little flares to draw the writer’s attention and make sure he or she takes a second look at the passage. I think the place where dialogue zits get problematic is when they’re used out of habit, rather than to enhance the moment. For instance, my characters have a tendency to start every line of dialogue with “so” or “well.” I’ve edited enough of my own writing at this point to recognize that those are my “zits” so now whenever I see them, I know I have to give that dialogue a second look.

That passage you posted is excellent. Thank you! It’s a perfect example of a scenario where dialogue “zits” are not zits at all but can enhance the dialogue. I’m always looking for examples where the Nine No’s are used well, so that passage will be super-helpful.

By: Ken Farmer

Ken Farmer — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 16:59:22 +0000

Have to disagree on a few points:
4. On-the-nose-dialogue is presented as subtext. In screenwriting, “On the Nose” dialogue refers to dialogue that says too much. The point is to make the reader or audience work a bit for the information – not too much (we don’t want to frustrate them) – but enough for them to feel emotionally involved in your story.
8. I totally disagree with your stance on ‘zits’. If you just want the reader to ‘read’ the dialogue lines, then fine, but if you want to suck the reader into the story, you must make the reader ‘hear’ the character as they speak.
Excerpt from my historical fiction novel, “The Nations”:
The Judge opened a desk drawer and began to sort out some official-looking papers.
“We’ll be leavin’ for the Nations in a few minutes…Sir.”
“Fine.”
“Unless…” Jack started.
“Yes?… Unless what?” the judge said as he looked up.
“Uh… Unless… well, Judge… uh, Your Honor… Sir… I have been wondering… that is, we have been wondering… uh…”
“Yes, yes?… Wondering what?”
“Uh… Well, Sir… I, uh… that is… we…”
Parker boomed out, “Well, confound it, Jack! Out with it man!”
Bass and Jack both flinched at the Judge’s sudden outburst.

If you removed all the hesitations and as you call them ‘zits’ you completely sterilize the moment. I write dialogue in novels exactly as I do in a screen or teleplay. Don’t tell the story to the reader, bring the reader into the story. Make them see, hear, feel, taste and smell what the characters do. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

By: Why Memoir Writers Need to Use Fiction Writing Techniques. | Memoir Writer's Journey

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 11:01:13 +0000

[…] *Write convincing dialogue in everyday language. Make it real. […]

By: Gabriela

Gabriela — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 04:23:22 +0000

So glad this post could be of help!

TinyFist–Thanks for catching that typo. Fixed now. Always good to have another set of eyes on a piece of writing, so I definitely appreciate when people catch these blips.

Marion–Will have to check our some of Elmore Leonard’s work. Anything you’d recommend in particular?

By: Marion

Marion — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 01:10:59 +0000

Good list. I find clunky exposition in dialogue particularly irksome; however, it’s often unavoidable and everybody does it — sparingly. The trick I think has to do with somehow making it both entertaining and revealing of character, not just past events. Elmore Leonard is a master at that.

By: Micki Fryhover

Micki Fryhover — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 00:19:46 +0000

I am SO glad I saw this on Twitter! Great advice which I’ll be sharing.

By: Robb Grindstaff

Robb Grindstaff — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 23:22:46 +0000

Excellent piece. I’ll be saving/sharing this one.